“Walking alone to hear your pain
And feel the sound of your shame Exchanging pain for love
Exchanging pain for love”
I wrote those lyrics in 2008
So YEARS ago
I wrote it in attempt to try and grasp the feeling I felt inside of me.
That feeling of hopelessness, darkness and despair. I wanted someone to rip that feeling out of me.
I look back on it now years later with different eyes and a different perspective.
At the time that I wrote this, I wrote it in an attempt to try and be deep, because I felt so deeply within myself. I guess I was trying to process the things I didn’t know how to say.
I read it now and maybe I wrote it for the other people in my life, or for people who knew me. Maybe I wrote it to my future self….
We all have pain or some kind of trauma from our past. Maybe that pain or trauma resurfaced recently, maybe something was done to us.
Maybe it was something we did or something we said to others, and we can’t get over it….
Exchanging pain for love could mean different things to people. For me it often means writing poetry, prayer, and reading the Bible.
It also means for me to learn and relearn to love myself, learning to listen to people without shooting off at the mouth or waiting for them to finish so I can talk about something different.
It also means sometimes you don’t need to post on social media everyday, it means it’s okay to sit in the silence and be still, sometimes you don’t need the music on 24/7.
Maybe the silence is what we all need
Maybe if we exchange all our pain, all our trauma, all our past mistakes for Love, we actually will experience inner peace.